Decoding the Gurus

Matt updates his p(doom), Tucker Carlson does his best impression of Wormtongue, and the political horseshoe unites over Flydubai JAQs. Sometimes our future AI overlords do not look so bad. The full episode is available to Patreon subscribers (2 hrs 51 mins). Join us at: https://www.patreon.com/DecodingTheGurus 00:00:00 Introduction 00:01:07 Dog Updates and Cultural Appropriation 00:07:20 Annual Health Check Approval 00:14:47 Matt’s p(doom) Update 00:17:26 Matt’s Dragon 00:21:34 Becoming Obsolete? 00:26:27 P-Zombie Thoughts on AI 00:33:03 Productivity Gains? 00:36:22 Jacob Rees-Mogg Meets Tucker Carlson 00:39:00 Tucker Carlson: Russian Apologist Extraordinaire 00:48:14 Cognitive Empathy for Russia 00:55:04 Who Cares About Treaties? 00:58:45 Studied Ignorance and Russian Sycophancy 01:05:50 The Isolationist Strain 01:11:33 Wormtongue Carlson 01:17:03 WHAT?!? 01:23:02 Hitler Apologetics 01:29:02 Bespoke Definitions of Sovereignty 01:37:17 Mr Hitler and His Promises 01:40:59 Great Fun with a Nazi Apologist…

Chris and Matt grapple with Face Huggers, ponder the mysteries of algebra, and have a heated exchange over the term "bespoke". *Sorry about some of Chris' audio: the microphone settings will be fixed next episode! The full episode is available to Patreon subscribers (2 hrs 12 mins). Join us at: https://www.patreon.com/DecodingTheGurus Supplementary Material 56 00:00 Introduction 01:58 The Hugging Face incident 08:46 AI risks and AI discourse 22:29 OpenAI’s presentation and the incentives around AI safety 29:51 How worried should we be? 40:13 Disagreeing about AI 46:15 Peter Boghossian’s AI-generated utopia and dystopia 52:00 Matt’s favourite DJ meme 53:32 Tucker Carlson meets algebra 1:00:18 Andrew Callaghan and Channel 5 1:02:07 Hunter Biden’s $LAPTOP meme coin 1:06:08 A brief intervention on “paleocon” 1:13:41 Andrew Callaghan explains the email-list mistake 1:23:46 Andrew Callaghan on tech oligarchs 1:36:28 Taylor Lorenz’s political independence 1:42:35 The Great Bespoke Debate of 2026 1:56:35 Hasan,…

Part Two of our Candace Owens decoding offers a generous case study in conspiratorial thinking. The necklace in the footage of Charlie Kirk’s murder may have moved before his jacket, a photograph of Tyler Robinson in front of a Man of Steel poster also raises questions about why Erika Kirk used the phrase about Charlie’s neck, not to mention that one of the early suspects also lived in New York during 9/11... all of it just makes you think... who is actually running things? One possibility could be Erika Kirk. Not that she is the mastermind (that, as always, is occult Jewish satanists), but rather that she might be a sociopath that dark energy is being temporarily channelled into. Candace asks why Erika returned to work so quickly, muses over how Candace's connection to Charlie was deeper and more spiritually potent, and ponders if she was the only person who really truly cared about Charlie. But don’t worry, Shawn Ryan is there with his trademark scepticism to offer pushback, like “wow” and “holy shit,…

Candace Owens is just a Catholic, a mother, and a wife. She loves her husband, works hard, and tries not to let internet drama disturb her spiritual peace. She also has just a few questions about the international satanic conspiracy behind Charlie Kirk’s ritual murder. We join Candace during her appearance on the Shawn Ryan Show, where an impressive amount of time is devoted to establishing how lovely they both find each other. There are the usual fond memories of dinner, a husband who is a James Bond lookalike, and a series of fascinating career adventures, including how Candace rose to be vice president of administration in just 4 years! She even got to experience the damaging effects of toxic mould before it was fashionable (and don't worry, it was cured with a restrictive diet!). Candace is like a one-woman crash course in conspiratorial ideation and how conspiracy theorists interact with other conspiracy theorists and conflicting evidence. But, to be fair, she is also very good at what she does! Coming…

The rumours of the Gurometer's demise have been greatly exaggerated. We were simply collecting enough gurus to feed three into the sacred instrument at once. In this special Triple Threat edition, Professor Jiang brings angel-informed psychohistory, Jimmy Carr brings a head full of dubious historical factoids, and Mel Robbins just desperately wants to help you (for a price). Three potential gurus, eleven characteristics, and a brief disagreement over the nature of data. Let the highly rigorous scoring commence! Also... think you can do better? Rate Jiang, Mel, Jimmy, or any of the other gurus on our online Gurometer and compare your scores with ours. Ideally, do it before listening, lest Matt declare your numbers inadmissible. https://decoding-the-gurus-gurometer.netlify.app/

Two academic windbags attempt brief discussions of the controversy at Nature, Bret’s newest conspiracy theory, and the latest vibe sessions in Podcastistan. It goes about as well as expected. The full episode is available to Patreon subscribers (1hr 18mins). Join us at: https://www.patreon.com/DecodingTheGurus Supplementary Material 55 00:00 Introduction: Science by Podcast 04:04 Nature Joins the Arday Discourse Wave 09:28 Activism and Science 14:40 Academic Prestige Bias 19:08 The Business of Academic Publishing 23:43 Sasha Gusev Being Sensible and Culture War Brainrot 29:04 Bret Weinstein and Jimmy Dore Investigate Charlie Kirk’s Death 36:13 Anomaly Hunting 42:27 Science Washing 45:00 Conspiracy Discrimination and Reasoning Ability 53:46 Academic Debate Norms 59:16 Chris Williamson Promotes Professor Jiang 01:01:01 Vibing Out in Podcast Panels: Hunter Biden x Nick Fuentes 01:05:49 Dave Rubin and Andrew Gold Discuss Political Tribalism 01:08:25 Heterodoxy in 2026: Zaid Jilani on Michael Tracey 01:12:52…

In Part Two of our decoding of Mel Robbins, things take a practical turn. But before we get to preoccupied with all that, why don't you pause, take a breath, and, in the context of your body, write down ten ways to make a bad situation worse. Your focus should then be on doing the exact opposite! For example, if one of your answers is to not listen to the podcast, then start listening, right now! Next, before hitting play, let's work on building a daily manifestation practice. Write down five things you want, then sit in your body, picture yourself doing all the annoying steps, and flood yourself with the feelings of future success. This needs to happen every day. One more thing: now imagine someone who is one million per cent behind you and ask them what is the best way for you to consume the podcast. They can be alive, dead, or fictional. Greek messenger Gods are permitted. You can even imagine your mother, if you like, but better. Alternatively, why not meet your future self at the front door and ask how…

We return from our holidays with an indulgent episode that starts light and ends up very dark as we turn to the unavoidable Jason Arday discourse. The full episode is available to Patreon subscribers (Full Episode: 1hr 40 mins) Join us at: https://www.patreon.com/DecodingTheGurus Supplementary Material 54 00:00 Pecan Pie Introduction 04:10 Solar Punk Matt 08:17 Ireland Trip Report 15:24 Australian Burger Culture 17:32 Manga Cafe Experiments 24:10 Joe Rogan on AI Remote Viewing 29:14 Parapsychology as a Research Field 34:07 A One Man University Level Course in Bad Thinking 36:58 The Young Info Turks 40:53 More Credulity with Ryan Grim over Fauci 42:14 Richard Ebright, Warning Signs, and Radicalisation Spirals 48:28 Vinay Prasad jumping on the Anti-Fauci wagon for the Free Press 52:31 The Jason Arday Affair 54:28 The Surrounding Context 58:18 Polemical Discourse Waves 01:05:22 The Guru Factor 01:08:25 A Realistic View of Universities as Imperfect Institutions 01:12:17 Elite Prestige Bias 01:21:33 Culture War…

Are you tired, stuck, or inconveniently constrained by reality? Good news: you may simply be imagining the wrong one. In Part One of our decoding of Mel Robbins, we explore the world of a self-help mogul who is also just a simple mother of three in Vermont hosting a little ol' podcast with a HUGE global impact. Together with Cassandra Vieten, a psychologist who is (apparently) one of the world's leading researchers on imagination and consciousness, Mel explains how to begin to stop reacting and start imagining, visualising, and manifesting the life you truly deserve. This will lead to self-actualised transcendence through a variety of simple-to-implement techniques. But don't worry, the universe has also put in safeguards: manifestation only works if you use it for good, such as empowering your authentic self. So please manifest enthusiastically without any concern. In the episode, you will learn about the delicate art of rebranding common sense into complex (proprietary) theories and be shocked to discover…

Joe Rogan, the Great Khan of podcasting, is once again receiving a travelling jester at court. This time it is Jimmy Carr who arrives bearing gifts: pop evolutionary psychology, dubious history factoids, conservative "common sense", and an apparently bottomless appetite for telling Joe just how important he is. After listening to their three-hour conversation(!), we conclude there is nothing much of note beyond serving as a nice demonstration of popular "alternative" podcasting in 2026. What you get is a medley of sycophantic praise; regurgitated pop science and historical factoids; right-wing political positions presented as basic common sense; and shocked reactions to pseudo profundity and mundane observations. Along the way, you will also thrill as you learn Rogan and Carr's takes on motherhood, feminism, work ethic, astrology, religion, taxation, vaccines, human evolution, the Black Death, and stand-up comedy. As for Jimmy Carr himself, well, according to us: he's a very much your standard middle-aged…

With the Trump administration’s newest political persecution of Anthony Fauci and three years after our first lab-leak special, now seemed like a useful time to return to the topic. Fortunately, you do not have to rely on our knowledge of viruses, as we have somehow managed to convince the same three esteemed virologists, Eddie Holmes, Kristian Andersen and Michael Worobey, to come back for an update. Mike, Kristian and Eddie return and offer us their read on where the scientific evidence on COVID’s origins stands in 2026. They take us through the main lines of evidence and the often overlooked role of the wildlife trade, explaining why the lab-leak story remains so appealing, and how their own assessments have shifted as more evidence has emerged. We also discuss the standard claim that the media suppressed the lab-leak narrative while noting that coverage across both alternative and mainstream outlets remains heavily skewed towards it (and almost entirely detached from the research literature). Finally, we…

We endure the ravages of time to deliver you this exhausted Supplementary Material. Bowed but never broken, the decoders persist. The full episode is available to Patreon subscribers (Full Episode: 2hr 20 mins) Join us at: https://www.patreon.com/DecodingTheGurus Supplementary Material 53 00:23 Introduction: Matthew the Succulent's Post-Holiday Report 02:15 Pickle Ball Injuries & Bouldering Curses 07:40 They Won't Let You Talk about Middle-Aged Sports Injuries 08:37 New AI Models 09:31 Cory Doctorow, Trevor Noah, and Confirmation Bias 23:45 The Glorious Past and the Terrible Present 28:28 The Horror of Tinned Asparagus 30:26 The Collapse of Industries & Stores 36:16 Negativity Bias 37:11 AI Prompting 101 44:30 AI and Research Applications 50:28 Nigel Farage vs Count Binface 59:10 Nigel Farage Knighted on Russia Today 01:02:53 Hasan's Advice for Ukrainians 01:07:51 Russian Apologetics 01:13:32 Vlad Vexler and soft Anti-Vaxx rhetoric 01:19:35 Guru Red Flags 01:23:48 Bret Weinstein in 2020 on Vaccines 01:28:53…

Two absolutely shattered academic heroes heroically drag themselves through yet another supplementary episode to bring you the important guru news in between their restorative breaks. The full episode is available to Patreon subscribers (Full Episode: 1hr 32 mins) Join us at: https://www.patreon.com/DecodingTheGurus 00:00 Introduction 02:13 Eliot Paisley's Anatomy of an Optimiser 08:52 Eric Weinstein wants a University Position and a Stipend 16:09 The Failure of the Anti-Woke Quasi Universities 19:19 Gary is Knackered Again 20:45 Gary is the best inequality economist in the world 24:36 How do I make a Documentary? 33:04 The End of the Year Approaches 37:44 Public Accountability 40:13 The Neurodivergent Trump Card 40:59 A clarification on bailiwicks 42:43 Tucker Carlson & Chris Cuomo discuss Russian Apologetics 48:53 Ukraine is selling weapons to Mexican Cartels 54:54 Civility Porn Judo 56:09 When Hasan met Prof. Jiang 01:01:37 Conspiracy Theory Buffet 01:07:24 Looking Good by Comparison 01:11:21 Comparing…

In this Decoding Academia episode, we venture into comparative psychology, focusing on a fascinating line of work by Fumihiro Kano and colleagues on social intelligence and theory of mind in great apes. By showing apes short videos and tracking where they look, researchers examine whether they expect others to act based on what they have seen, what they know, or what they falsely believe. This approach offers a remarkable window into the evolutionary roots of human social cognition or, alternatively, the most elaborate way yet devised to explore what a chimp thinks of a man in a chimpanzee costume. We discuss what this kind of research might reveal about social intelligence across species: whether apes understand intentions, knowledge, and false beliefs; how their abilities compare with humans, dogs, and other animals; and why studying minds without language requires ingenuity, caution, and tolerance for participants who may simply decide the whole enterprise is beneath them. There is also some discussion of…

We return for Part 2 of our coverage of “Professor” Jiang, the internet’s favourite new geopolitical prophet, secondary-school sage, and proud owner of an ever-expanding box of educational props. Having already treated us to multiple maps, chess pieces, and a sealed metal case of predictions, Jiang is back with more predictions, more props, and even higher-level insights. This time, we get the dramatic unveiling of a fresh batch of forecasts, including the forthcoming U.S. civil war, AI surveillance states, a grand bargain with China, the Greater Israel project, and the coming East Asian conflict. During all of this, we pause to consider Jiang’s status as a Beijing-based geopolitical commentator who manages to be just critical enough of Chinese surveillance to sound daring, but yet is most reliably focused on predictions of imminent Western collapse, American hubris, and the doom of the U.S. empire. But the real journey begins when Jiang sets the geopolitics aside and invites us into Plato’s Allegorical…

On Decoding the Gurus, we regularly get to hear a lot of truly “high-level” ideas, but the much-requested subject of this episode’s decoding is up there with the best of them. We are talking, of course, about “Professor” Jiang, the internet’s favourite new overly confident online guru, now that Jordan Peterson is indisposed. Jiang Xueqin is a secondary school teacher who has found an online audience thirsty for his particular style of confident bullshit, and he is more than ready to roll out his “predictive history” analyses on command. Be prepared for some serious professorial cosplay as Stephen Bartlett, from Diary of a CEO, spares no expense in his endless quest to indulge every modern online crank, offering a grab bag of props as well as his usual thoughtful pauses and awe-inspiring requests for definitions. Thrill as the honorary professor performs as a grand seer and geopolitical strategist, complete with a tabletop world map, wargame prop pieces, whiteboard flowcharts, coloured chess sets, and a…

We exercise good faith and grapple with the ever-versatile context window in this unintentionally thematic episode. Supplementary Material 51 The full episode is available to Patreon subscribers (Full Episode: 1hr 18 mins) Join us at: https://www.patreon.com/DecodingTheGurus 00:00 Introduction 01:40 Jordan Hall's Suspicious Semiotic Parasites 08:52 A New Covenant for the American Republic 14:33 Dave Rubin's support group after Jubilee 14:52 Dr. K vs 20 Depressed People 20:05 The Fifth Column Welcomes Batya Ungar Sargon (Again) 21:18 Anti-Semitism isn't really an issue on the Right 25:39 Moynihan agrees that Tucker Carlson is a Leftist 30:40 I don't really know what he has said... 37:38 When Taylor Lorenz met Brad Palumbo 41:24 Taylor is a Good Faith Person who is often misrepresented 44:32 Was Taylor cheering on the killing of healthcare CEOs? 51:16 Suggesting Targets or Providing "Context" 57:48 The Victimhood Pose 01:01:01 Selective "Understanding" 01:06:41 The Moral Grandstanding Escape Hatch 01:12:10…

In this Gurometer edition, Matt and Chris feed Iain McGilchrist into the sacred instrument to see where exactly refined country-parish-minister vibes land when combined with galaxy-brained hemispheres, civilisational decline narratives, decorative scholarship, and the other features of guruosity. Iain McGilchrist Gurometer 00:27 Introduction 01:00 Iain McGilchrist Reactions 04:40 Galaxy Brain-ness 06:39 Cultishness 08:28 Anti-Establishmentarianism 11:39 Grievance Mongering 14:30 Self-Aggrandizement and Narcissism 17:21 Cassandra Complex 19:54 Revolutionary Theories 20:48 Pseudo-Profound Bullshit 24:10 Conspiracy Mongering 25:08 Excessive Profiteering 26:10 Moral Grandstanding 27:15 Overall Score 28:47 Bonus Round 33:04 Guru Binary Scores 37:18 Outro

We become highly effective at exploiting the gap between salience and relevance as we universalise semiotic capability and listen to more brave renegades talking about how amazing they are. Join us, won't you? Supplementary Material 50 (Full Episode: 2hrs 23 mins) 00:24 Introduction 02:07 British People Struggling with Compliments 04:53 Matt loves SOME episode titles 08:42 Nachos Pronunciation 10:13 Brett Weinstein vs Michael Tracey 29:08 Brett pivots to his Anti-Vaxx Hits 42:32 The Hug Box World of Podcasting 45:55 When Eric met Joe (again) 47:29 Eric and Rogan re-litigate Sean Carroll's criticisms 55:55 Eric's insatiable desire to be linked with Epstein 01:14:36 Eric Weinstein is a Construct 01:16:36 When Ana met Candace 01:18:18 Useful Idiots and Shameless Propagandists 01:19:59 Ryan Grim's reaction to being in Iranian Propaganda Videos 01:26:22 Zeteo gets to the bottom of the Iranian Casualty Figures 01:30:24 Ana and Candace's Hug Session 01:36:31 A horse named shoe? 01:47:26 The Holocaust Media Industry…

The Decoders wrap up cult season by dissecting a titan of the cult scene, the founder of Scientology, Lafayette Ronald Hubbard or L. Ron for short. A prolific science fiction author, L. Ron founded an alternative self-help movement and then developed it into his cosmic self-help 'religion' of Scientology. Scientology has now been the subject of multiple documentaries and even a fairly detailed South Park parody episode, so it feels like many are aware of the general 'deal' of Scientology. But how about L. Rob Hubbard as a guru... how many people have actually taken the time to sit down and just hear the guy out? Here at DTG HQ, we are all about the good-faith deep dives, so we decided to devote some time to analysing a 1966 Rhodesian TV interview with L. Ron Hubbard, in which a friendly Scientologist interviewer (not identified as such) politely tees up Hubbard to explain Scientology. So join us to find out how L. Ron invented a “workable science,” a “religion of religions,” and a self-help machine that…

Matthew Browne, a high-profile advocate for pan-psychism, compels his reluctant co-host to endure a public struggle session on the topic of consciousness, hopefully for the last time. Supplementary Material 49 00:00 Introduction 02:47 Returning to the Emerald Isle 03:44 Irish History Segment: The Titanic & Potato Famines 10:45 McGilchrist Reflections 12:51 Knowledge Fight has ended 26:23 Podcasting Motivations 34:37 Calibrated Expectations 41:03 The Problem with the Patreon Members 42:51 Shermer's Activist Skeptic Research 47:24 Research on Support for Political Violence in the US 54:35 Rob Henderson and Decorative Scholarship 58:11 Ryan Holiday Stoically Flames MAGA 01:04:41 Zuby and Motivated Reasoning 01:07:15 Monocausal Explanations for Declining Birth Rates 01:08:51 More credulity from Shermer 01:10:25 Bryan Johnson and Testicular Optimisation 01:14:41 Testicle Fixation Gurus 01:15:24 Professor Jiang thinks Trump is Immortal 01:19:57 When Dawkins Met Claude 01:30:00 The Great Consciousness Debate of…

In this episode, we return to Iain McGilchrist as he spirals upwards from his binary hemispheric model into full cosmic spirituality. The rule is simple: everything McGilchrist likes is due to the subtle, nuanced, and deeply sophisticated right brain, while the left brain (pffft) is responsible for reductionism, modernity, and most of the problems in your life. From this neuroscientific foundation, the theory expands with admirable ambition. Civilisations rise and fall depending on which hemisphere they inhabit. Ancient societies were properly attuned to the right brain, while the modern world has gone mechanical and spiritually bankrupt. The details are, of course, very complex, but the moral is clear. Scientific evidence features occasionally, mostly in a decorative capacity or as parables of scientists being baffled by mystical forces. Hence, we learn that decapitated worms retain perfect memories, Nobel Prizes have been awarded for demonstrating a mystical direction powering evolution, and near-death…

The hour grows late, and Matt the Grey-Haired rides once more from his quiet study, summoned by whispers from the ever-churning gurusphere. And so he goes, to seek counsel with Chris the Grey-Bearded, keeper of receipts, watcher of long-form content, and wielder of the sacred Gurometer. For the gurus stir again… and their nonsense must be decoded. Supplementary Material 48: Grey Beard's Council, Late-Stage Anti-Capitalism, and Demonic Mould Health Updates 00:00 Greetings Old Friend 02:22 Decoding the Gamers 04:16 A Reckoning with Old Grey Hair 06:19 Joe Rogan determining US Medical Approvals 12:15 The Fall of Orban and the Silence of the Heterodox World 17:09 The Hypocrisy of Peter Boghossian 19:52 Dave Rubin and other Tenet Media Stooges 21:43 The Dugin, Jiang and Sneako Brain Trust discuss the ultra-hyper-globalists. 28:58 Trump attacks Alex Jones, Tucker Carlson, & Megyn Kelly 32:39 A Return to Weinstein World 33:00 Bret's Moon Landing Conspiracies 39:03 Eric and his Silicon Friend are still having…

In this episode, we take a journey into the mind, traversing both the left and right hemispheres, but mostly the left, as we engage with the truly mind-bending insights of British psychiatrist-philosopher-neuroscientist-theologian-author Iain McGilchrist. Best known for his 2009 book "The Master and His Emissary: The Divided Brain and the Making of the Western World" but also a much lauded academic and sensemaker. We outline McGilchrist’s extremely complicated thesis that the two hemispheres of the brain reflect fundamentally different “ways of being” and that this is reflected in individuals and civilisations that rely more on one side than the other. This is, of course, not merely a crude binary. As McGilchrist repeatedly emphasises, it would be quite wrong to suggest he is simply valorising everything he likes (religion, poetry, classic literature, wood-panelled interiors, sense-making chats) and attributing them to the products of a profound and integrative right hemisphere. Similarly, he does not simply…

On this episode, we’re joined by Stevie Baskin, a skeptic and YouTuber who released a five-hour detailed critique of the “meta-deception” of Oz Pearlman. He argues that mentalism differs from traditional magic by introducing an additional meta-deception because, unlike magicians, mentalists often leave their audiences with inaccurate beliefs about body language reading, subliminal influence, NLP, and general psychology. In Stevie’s framework, this places mentalists closer to psychics and mediums than to magicians, because the deceptive element is not clearly acknowledged. We examine this position, unpack common mentalist techniques, consider the role of strategic disclaimers and TED-style “epistemic theatre,” and explore possible parallels with contemporary secular gurus. Sources Metadeception: the truth about Oz Pearlman The Disagreement: Debating a mentalist professor of psychology (Scott Barry Kaufman) about Oz Pearlman Chris' old blog covering the ethics of Derren Brown's claims in 2009 The Power Of…

Our cover is blown. Our secret funders unmasked. Code Red: Abort! Abort! This is not a drill. Supplementary Material 47: The DTG Conspiracy UNMASKED, Quantum Idiots, and Triggernometry Prophecies 00:00 Glowing Introduction 03:14 The Secret Conspiracy at the Heart of the Podcast 08:17 The Israel Connection 19:09 Cenk Uygur's Pickleball Conspiracy 23:25 Comment Section Conspiracies 30:20 Pizzagate Conspiracies Revisited 37:55 The Value of debating with ChadBigCum 42:26 AI discourse reflections 43:43 Ben Burgis's hyperbolic reaction to AI use 44:53 The AI revolution and its potential impacts 47:53 Social and Economic Disruption and Job Replacement 51:33 The Dangers of Slopified Work and AI economies 55:47 Statistical Analysis Software and the value of Friction 57:36 The Perils of AI Usage outside of your Skillset 58:59 The Solution is within yourself! 01:04:22 The Hundred Schools of AI discourse 01:05:58 Double Slit and Quantum Physics Insights from Warren Smith 01:12:39 Schrodinger's poor, misinterpreted cat…

Mickey is BACK with two new papers he has co-authored, a bunch of opinions, and a very unwelcome idea: maybe the problem with AI isn't that it doesn't work but that it works too well! The first paper, Against Frictionless AI, argues that AI assistance and its ability to take away the effort from thinking, writing, and smooth out social(like) interactions could be robbing those activities of the very thing that makes them worthwhile. The second paper is a more empirical investigation that presents a bunch of studies examining the topic of the (alleged) moralisation of AI. Some findings suggest that opposition to AI among some people isn't really about risks or trade-offs but rather about non-negotiable sacred moral values. Who knew? We also discuss effort justification, reproducible research, robosexual allyship, and just how much humanity remains within the cyborg Matthew Browne. And remember... It's just like our opinion, man! Links Decoding Academia 34: Empathetic AIs? (Patreon Series) Ovsyannikova, D.,…

Ken Wilber, the grand architect of Integral Theory, enters the Decoding chamber (wearing a striking but slightly unconvincing wig) as we explore a worldview that confidently absorbs every religion, philosophy, and half-remembered psychology paper into one majestic, Borg-like synthesis. Resistance, as it turns out, is not just futile... it is probably “first-tier thinking". This is a world of elaborate, baroque cosmologies. Layers within layers, quadrants within stages, spirals within states, with each offering a map of reality that grows more intricate the closer it gets to its own centre. Traditions are not debated so much as absorbed, their distinctiveness dissolved into a higher synthesis that always leads to the ultimate insight: integral theory. Get ready to experience high-level political analysis where Kamala Harris becomes a “fractured green" and Donald Trump the embodiment of a "rational orange". You will also learn how Ken is working with AI companies to help them incorporate integral thinking into…

In this Gurometer double bill, Matt and Chris break out the much-sought-after Gurometer™ to score Teal Swan and Scott Galloway across the 11 recurring guru traits. In one efficient episode, we compare cosmic-certified spirituality with secular man-talk (and a surprising amount of puffer-jacket merchandising). As a bonus, get ready to thrill at Matt's eternal puzzlement at his own simple binary question of 'guru-osity'. Links Gurometer scores to date The full episode is available for Patreon subscribers (51 mins). Join us at: https://www.patreon.com/DecodingTheGurus Gurometer: Teal Swan and Scott Galloway 00:00 Back to the Gurometer: Teal and Scott 02:33 Galaxy Brain-ness 04:18 Cultishness 05:25 Anti-Establishmentarianism 08:31 Grievance Mongering 10:55 Self Aggrandisement and Narcissism 14:30 Cassandra Complex 18:03 Revolutionary Theories 21:49 Pseudo-Profound Bullshit 26:07 Conspiracy Mongering 28:50 Excessive Profiteering 36:25 Moral Grandstanding 40:33 Overall Gurometer Score 41:27 Rapid Fire Bonus Guru…

In our never-ending quest to alienate all potential online audiences, we finger-wag about rampant Epstein conspiracism and explain why we are, on balance, anti-murder. The full episode is available to Patreon subscribers (2 hours, 42 minutes). Join us at: https://www.patreon.com/DecodingTheGurus In our never-ending quest to alienate all potential online audiences, we finger-wag about rampant Epstein conspiracism and explain why we are, on balance, anti-murder. 00:00 Intro 03:39 Flooding Adventures 06:54 Eric's Troubles with his Silicon Friend 13:09 Peter Boghossian's Hardcore for Grok 17:16 A Promising Paper on reducing AI Hallucinations 22:17 Statistical Consults 23:12 Epstein Discourse Lollapalooza 27:24 Eric Weinstein thinks Epstein is connected to UFOs 29:09 Rogan Plays Apologist for Trump on Epstein 32:21 Emma Vigeland and Joshua Citarella engage in Conspiracy Hypothesising 35:07 Reasonable Conspiracy Theorising 42:24 The Real Conspiracy 44:26 Epstein and Ghislaine puppeting the culture wars 48:18 The…

In Part 2, Matt and Chris return to Blindboy, now broadcasting from a solar-powered podcast and therefore morally unimpeachable. The darkness, however, remains. Having established in Part 1 that the global elite are a vampiric class of depraved blackmailers who traffic children and delight in cruelty, in Part 2, Blindboy offers us some welcome relief in the form of answering the question of what it looks like to be one of the good ones. You may be surprised to learn that it involves a missing dressing room, muddy socks, and a loyalty to small-time promoters that some might call heroic. The episode also traces an ambitious historical arc: from street gangs in 1800s Limerick to the New York underworld, Meyer Lansky, Roy Cohn, CIA brothels and LSD interrogation programmes, and eventually to Donald Trump and Jeffrey Epstein. The connecting thread is a continuous tradition of sexual blackmail passed from master to apprentice that has, apparently, been quietly guiding Western (criminal) civilisation for the better…

In this episode, Matt and Chris turn their attention to Blindboy Boatclub, the Irish podcaster, satirist, and former member of the Rubberbandits. Blindboy is recognisable for his plastic-bag headwear, which has transitioned from a comedy prop into something a bit deeper and more philosophical. His podcast blends ASMR-style delivery, stream-of-consciousness storytelling, and cultural and political commentary, drifting between reflections on mental health, colonialism, Irish history, and the origins of the month of February. It is a distinctive format: whispered monologues over gentle piano where poetic association, personal reflection, and narrative intuition take precedence. For many listeners, that unique mixture of introspection, politics, and storytelling is exactly the appeal. As you might imagine, it is not entirely our bag, but to each their own. However, when Blindboy turns his attention to the recent Epstein document releases, the narrative becomes considerably darker and drifts into some familiar…

Another episode where the guest is not a sense-making prophet or a galaxy-brained guru, as we engage in academic dialogos with Oxford psychologist Andrew Przybylski. This is a preview of our Decoding Academia series on Patreon (now 30+ episodes deep), where we swap internet gurus and rhetoric for actual researchers and empirical debates. Andrew’s work spans motivation, gaming, and digital technology. His most recent crime is that he studies the impact of technology and has not found evidence that it is destroying wellbeing and ushering in civilisational collapse. We discuss the ongoing moral panic around smartphones, social media, and teenagers’ allegedly pulverised minds and why much of the debate rests on statistical techniques roughly equivalent to staring deeply at Excel spreadsheets and hammering SPSS until the desired narrative appears. We get into measurement problems around “screen time,” why trivially small correlations become front-page catastrophes, and how the discourse rewards confident…

We return to some old friends, and almost immediately, we regret the decision. Also, get ready for some heady insights from history, a new conspiracy hypothesis, and Game Theory based insights. The full episode is available to Patreon subscribers (1 hour, 37 minutes). Join us at: https://www.patreon.com/DecodingTheGurus Supplementary Material 45 00:00 Introduction 01:15 Mick Drop 04:44 Scott Galloway's Favourite Conservative 06:37 Konstantin Kisin: Neither Right Nor Left 11:51 Insane Ad Reads in Podcastistan 17:08 Aella's insights on history 20:30 Bret's New Conspiracy Episode 22:10 Bret on Epstein, Pizzagate, and Ritual Murder 30:58 Heather, the personification of strategic disclaimers 31:49 Bret's New Conspiracy: Epstein is Alive 36:31 The Real Culprit is Game Theory 44:25 Bret is a Force of Nature who is always vindicated 46:36 The Grand Unification of Conspiracy Theories 48:25 Cenk Uygur promotes 9/11 Conspiracies 51:42 Peter Thiel in Ghoulish Pro-Nazi Form 55:15 The Descent of the Discourse 57:47 Eric…

Ever heard of cognitive dissonance? That thing a psychology lecturer might have explained to you once upon a time, likely using the same UFO cult example everyone else uses. Well, a new paper by Thomas Kelly suggests that the UFO cult example might have been ever so slightly oversold. Kelly's archival work suggests that the researchers didn't just observe the cult as reported. Instead, they infiltrated it, faked supernatural experiences, assumed quasi-leadership roles, and then wrote up the results as if the group had spontaneously doubled down on their failed prophecy, which they had not. Because the leader recanted, and the group fell apart shortly after the failed prophecy. Minor details. Matt and Chris discuss this paper, a 2024 multilab replication, and some other papers by Kelly, considering the ever-reliable tendency of researchers to find exactly what they are looking for. It's cognitive dissonance all the way down, folks. The full episode is available to Patreon subscribers (1 hour, 10 minutes).…

Cult Season rumbles on as Chris and Matt expand their minds in an attempt to absorb the cosmic insights of spiritual influencer and alleged cult leader Teal Swan (born Mary Teal Bosworth, 1984). Our intrepid hosts explore her recent appearance on the Just Tap In podcast with Emilio “starchild” Ortiz — a beanie-wearing vessel of pure credulity, lobbing softball metaphysical questions gently into the astral winds. The topic covered is ostensibly “Major 2026 Predictions” but this is really just an entry point for discussion of the ancient origins of AI, multiversal astral contract negotiations, and, of course, the urgent need to discuss masculinity before we spiritually implode. You will learn insights, such as: how AI will eliminate ageing, guide us to SOURCE, amplify our shadow, and corrupt and deceive us ... all at once. Aliens and other cosmic beings are deeply concerned with and also not really all that bothered with humanity. Also, pop stars are apparently set to receive divine instructions to stabilise…

In this Decoding Academia episode, we take a look at a 2025 paper by Daria Ovsyannikova, Victoria Olden, and Mickey Inzlicht, asking a question that might make some people uncomfortable/angry, specifically, are AI-generated responses perceived as more empathetic than those written by actual humans? We walk through the design in detail (including why this is a genuinely severe test), hand out deserved open-science brownie points, and discuss why AI seems to excel particularly when responding to negative or distress-laden prompts. Along the way, Chris reflects on his unsettlingly intense relationship with Google’s semi-sentient customer-service agent “Bubbles,” and we ask whether infinite patience, maximal effort, and zero social awkwardness might be doing most of the work here. This is not a paper about replacing therapists, outsourcing friendship, or mass-producing compassion at scale. It is a careful demonstration that fluent, effortful, emotionally calibrated text is often enough to convince people they…

In this interview episode, we are joined by physicists Sam Gregson (Bad Boy of Science YouTube channel) and Tim Henke to examine the rise of science populism: a style of science communication that borrows the tactics of political populism, including grievance narratives, institutional distrust, and conspiratorial framing, while presenting its advocates as lone truth-tellers battling a corrupt academic elite. We discuss how DTG favourites like Sabine Hossenfelder and Eric Weinstein, as well as fresh new faces Brian Keating and Avi Loeb, deploy selective truths about physics to fuel self-aggrandising, anti-expert narratives. Along the way, we also cover stuff like why “physics hasn’t progressed in 50 years”, cranks are useful props for populist arguments, and the strange obsession with Nobel Prizes. If you are interested in guru dynamics, science communication, and physics crankery, this might be an episode for you. Links Bad Boy of Science (Sam Gregson) Tim's Profile Website Bad Boy of Science – The Rise of…

We descend once more into the Gurusphere, encountering secret peasant archmages, decline narratives, Epstein emails, and endless moral panics. The full episode is available to Patreon subscribers (1 hour, 37 minutes). Join us at: https://www.patreon.com/DecodingTheGurus 00:00 SM 44 PF 00:23 Introduction 01:30 Konstantin Kisin: Not Left Or Right, Just Right 05:20 Boghossian is shocked by pessimistic French people 08:50 Konstantin and Warren Smith as relics of the anti-SJW era 12:45 A PSA! Hyper Capitalism Tier Update! 18:36 Matt's AV Setup 20:01 Recommendation: Successville (British version) 21:40 My peasant farmer dad is secretly an Archmage! 28:14 Scott Galloway talks with Gwyneth Paltrow 40:18 American Capitalist Culture and the Gurus 48:54 Bryan Johnson vs AG1 51:45 Bryan Johnson & Epstein Schmoozing 58:09 Bari Weiss's Peter Attia Woes 59:14 Epstein and QAnon Conspiracies 01:03:23 Overinterpreting Epstein emails 01:09:04 Shermer promotes Dave Rubin to hawk his book on Truth 01:10:37 Conspiracy Theory…

In a rare departure from our usual diet of online weirdos, this episode features an academic who is very much not a guru. We’re joined by Julia Rohrer, a psychologist at Leipzig University whose work straddles the disciplinary boundaries of open science, research transparency, and causal inference. Julia is also an editor at Psychological Science and has spent much of the last decade politely pointing out that psychologists often don’t quite know what they’re estimating, why, or under which assumptions. We talk about the state of psychology after the replication crisis, whether open science reforms have genuinely improved research practice (or just added new boxes to tick), and why causal thinking is unavoidable even when researchers insist they are “only describing associations.” Julia explains why the standard dance of imply causality → deny causality → add boilerplate disclaimer is unhelpful, and argues instead for being explicit about the causal questions researchers actually care about and the…

We crawl around the dark crevices of the internet so you don't have to. And what wonders we have to show you... The full episode is available to Patreon subscribers (1 hour, 34 minutes). Join us at: https://www.patreon.com/DecodingTheGurus Supplementary Material 43 00:00 Introduction and Banter Allotment 01:23 The Hypocrisy of the Defenders of Western Civilisation 10:07 An Optimistic Take? 17:02 Scott Adams' Controversial Legacy 18:43 Scott Alexander's Rationalist Eulogy for Scott Adams 32:31 A Final Tribute to Scott Adams 33:43 Andrew Gold's Interview with a Racist 39:02 Fair Play for being a Racist 41:17 Comparing Follower Counts and Audience Makeup 44:40 Racism and Xenophobia Discussion 49:07 Securing the Future of Our People... 01:00:01 LawTubers and Grifting 01:00:48 Legal Mindset 01:06:02 Antifa Woke Women are Hunting Legal Mindset 01:07:41 A man of Christ 01:09:16 A Red-Blooded American 01:12:35 Woke White Women and Antifa Paranoia 01:13:55 Electro Gym Work and Pygmy Hippo Love 01:18:47 Antifa…

We return for Part 2 of our Scott Galloway deep dive, where the vibes remain strong, the confidence unwavering, and the relationship with empirical evidence increasingly… decorative. Returning to our Modern Wisdom safari, we continue navigating the forbidden terrain of men, masculinity, and male suffering: a topic so dangerous that it requires constant ritual disclaimers, whispered caveats, and the occasional nervous glance around the bar to make sure we can take out the other men if necessary. We cover Scott's outline of his masculine Third Way: rejecting both the Right’s “Bring Back the Fifties” masculinity and the Left’s “Men Are the Problem” framework, in favour of a solution that might be described as Stern Dad Who’s Also Nice About It. Prepare to thrill at proposals of mandatory national service, kindness as a masculine superpower, and the radical idea that young people might benefit from not being economically crushed. Things get spicier when we’re told what women really want and learn about the…

We dig deep into the online world to DO OUR OWN RESEARCH and return with horrors never dreamt of by man. The full episode is available to Patreon subscribers (1 hour, 23 minutes). Join us at: https://www.patreon.com/DecodingTheGurus Supplementary Material 42 00:00 Introduction 11:13 Rogan and Shane Gillis on Nick Fuentes vs Piers Morgan 17:49 Jimmy Carr's Physics Insights 24:00 The comedian shuffle 25:12 Andrew Huberman teams up with Goop! 30:41 Huberman injects his dog with testosterone. 32:09 Bryan Johnson and the secret longevity of the penis 35:41 The Science Behind Huberman's Careful Product Endorsements 39:48 The Statistics of Home Alone 41:22 Bryan Johnson's Love Tweet 46:24 Bryan Johnson's horrible treatment of his ex-fiancée 51:30 Andrea Botez and Influencer Health Research 57:41 Bespoke Treatments with Medical AIs 01:04:28 Self-Research, Stock Picking, and Gambling 01:07:47 Health Systems and their imperfections 01:12:37 Doing Your Own Research... 01:17:38 Matt's Content Recommendations 01:20:45…

We return to the podcast circuit in 2026 to examine Scott Galloway: NYU professor, prolific podcaster, and, more recently, part-time life coach for struggling young men. Joining him on an episode of Modern Wisdom with Chris Williamson, we are invited into one of the few remaining forbidden conversational spaces: men, masculinity, and men’s problems. You may have been misled by the relentless popularity of Joe Rogan, Modern Wisdom, The Tucker Carlson Show, Triggernometry, The Diary of a CEO, Huberman Lab, and several dozen adjacent properties into thinking these topics are already discussed at length on a near-weekly basis. Alas, this turns out to be a dangerous illusion. In reality, even mentioning men’s issues requires an extended ritual acknowledgement of women, failure to perform which risks immediate cancellation. Braving these cultural headwinds, we wade into manly dialogue about masculinity, sex differences, and male malaise. Along the way, we ponder the intricacies of culture war evolutionary…

In this festive descent into methodological despair, Chris and Matt convene a secret cabal of elite psychology podcasters within the Decoding Cloister, operating under the distant yet reassuring gaze of Arch-Wizard Paul Bloom, whose role is largely ceremonial but nonetheless morally binding. Joining them are Dave Pizarro (Very Bad Wizards) and Michael Inzlicht (Two Psychologists Four Beers, emeritus), for what can only be described as an end-of-year audit of social psychology’s moral character. What follows is a mixture of intense hubris, disciplinary self-loathing, and revolutionary insights, delivered via one of the most sadistic Christmas quizzes ever devised. The quiz format allows the episode to do what psychology does best: create the feeling of measurement while hovering dangerously close to intuition. Alongside the quiz, we engage in some meta-commentary and sensemaking reflections on audience capture and the state of psychology-themed podcasts in 2025. In other words, it’s Christmas, so naturally…

In this special Christmas episode, Helen’s annual Guru Quiz returns, lightly dusted with Trump, podcast tours, and the unsettling realisation that the Guru-sphere and the MAGA-sphere have quietly fused into a single, monetised, vibes-based organism. That's right, the regular decoding team are joined by renowned journalist, author, podcaster... and occasional DTG quiz master, Helen Lewis, who once again brings her festive cheer, an uncanny ability to identify exactly who will be unbearable next year, and a quiz designed to torture Matt. Points are awarded, dignity is lost, and Matt briefly considers revising for the quiz before remembering that preparation has never helped him before. The episode also covers MAGA and UK political manoeuvres, the movers and shakers of the Gurusphere in 2025, and a lament for the collapse of the ancient boundary between editorial content and hawking pants. So join us for a festive episode about gurus, geniuses, authoritarian comedy festivals, and the slow erosion of shame.…

In this tragic episode, we pay tribute to a fallen comrade and honour his memory with a discussion of a melange of truly terrible people, some of whom are much worse than others. The full episode is available to Patreon subscribers (2 hours, 33 minutes). Join us at: https://www.patreon.com/DecodingTheGurus Supplementary Material 41 00:00 Introduction and Swimming Update 02:34 The Tragic Tale of Old Squeaky 09:01 Sam Harris interpersonal bias & Megyn Kelly 26:05 Gary Stevenson vs Rory Stewart 36:26 Master Certificates and Jaffa Cakes 41:59 Dasha's Nick Fuentes Problem 50:08 Nick Fuentes' Racist Remarks 54:29 Piers Morgan vs. Nick Fuentes 59:08 The Two Nick Fuentes Personas 01:02:39 Father Issues 01:20:51 Nick Fuentes the Racist 01:30:36 Piers Lab Leak Ad Break 01:32:52 Antisemitism and Holocaust Denialism 01:45:25 IDW Style Credulity and Holocaust Denialism 01:48:12 Hitler was really f**king cool? 01:58:20 Blustering Boomer Outrage vs. Online Groyperism 02:02:09 Debating Misogyny and Extremism 02:12:54 Piers…

In this unlocked bonus episode, Chris and Matt complete their forensic/esoteric/scientific assessment of the charming Stefan Molyneux, consigning him (sadly) to the eternal archives of the Gurometer.

Cult Season continues, and much like Stefan himself, you may have hoped this would go away after Part 1. Unfortunately, like all persistent internet hauntings, Molyneux has returned. And this time, Chris and Matt venture even deeper into the Moly-Hole, a place where truth is redefined, callers are slowly gaslit into existential confusion, and every philosophical insight is served with the overwhelming scent of narcissism and emotional manipulation. We return to the joyful world of Stefan’s caller-domination rituals, courtesy of Twitter Spaces, where he continues his life’s work of berating strangers and stroking his own ego while insisting he alone possesses the True Meaning of Truth. Listeners can thrill to the culmination of the Truth Call™ from Part 1, where the philosophically inclined young father is sucked further into Stefan’s epistemological meat grinder as Stefan tries to uncover the imaginary psychoanalytic roots of the caller’s ongoing defiance. From there, we are introduced to Caller No. 3 for…

We set down the Chardonnay at the latest heterodox dinner party and lean in for some hearty ‘civil discourse’ to once again defend the trembling pillars of Western civilization. The full episode is available to Patreon subscribers (2 hours, 13 minutes). Join us at: https://www.patreon.com/DecodingTheGurus Supplementary Material 40: YouTube Builders, the Discourse Grind, and Sam Harris' Dinner Parties 00:00 Introduction 01:15 Feedback on the Molyneux Episode 10:26 Jordan Peterson still defeated by toxic demon mould 12:16 Steven Pinker's bad takes on Bjorn Lomborg 15:49 Chris vs Sabine 28:21 Grok's insane sycophantic glazing of Elon Musk 33:54 Musk's Psychology 40:59 Sam Harris acknowledges his problem?!? 47:18 Sam continues to wrestle with the interpersonal ethics of criticism 01:05:10 Triggernometry saves Western Civilization 01:15:29 The Wisdom of Francis Foster 01:28:42 Triggernometry's Partisan Outrage at the BBC 01:38:12 Oppressed Men vs. Complaining Women 01:46:29 The YouTube Builders of Western…